7 Steps to Repair a Damaged Business Partnership

Originally published by Harvard Business Review.

Many people know from painful personal experience that business partnerships, however promising they may start, can come to a place of conflict and even acrimony. In fact, some 50 to 80% of partnerships fail in the first few years.

Many partners fail to address these problems constructively, either due to plain old conflict avoidance or hoping the problems will go away, or they prepare to go to battle. Either of these extremes have significant risk and could make things worse. If your business partnership has gotten rocky, we suggest taking the following steps.

Start now.

If you’re reading this, maybe you’re in a business partnership that’s getting rocky, or far worse. Wherever you are, don’t delay the process of addressing these issues. They’ll only get harder.

While the best time to address these challenges might have been in the past, the second-best time is now. It’s key to get issues on the table so they can be discussed and ideally resolved. Don’t let them fester.

Get help.

When the business partnership is in trouble, it’s a grave risk that the partners will start to get themselves riled up with narratives about the other partners. An objective and mutually trusted mentor, consultant, coach, or even a mediator, can greatly help.

Bringing in a disinterested third party can help create safety in the conversation so that the “charge” each partner feels is more neutralized and lessens destructive patterns (e.g., snark or sarcasm, blowing up or shutting down, etc.). A third party can also help de-personalize the issues that need to be addressed. This third party must, of course, have the shared trust of all the partners and be accountable to the partnership, not just to one or several partners.

Talk live.

Unless there is threat of litigation, live and direct communication is critical. Email, text, or other electronic communication is notoriously low bandwidth: emotion and deeper meaning get lost, and the risk of misinterpretation and escalation goes up. A live conversation might be the last thing you want, but it is a more accountable, mutual, respectful, and constructive form of communication.

Clarify intentions.

When emotions are hot, mental clarity is a casualty. It can be honest, calming, and clarifying to share what each person really wants. It might be “get our partnership back to when it was fun” or “improve our relationship to get the business back on track” or “to hold each other accountable to do what we say we will do.” It might even be to “find a way to dissolve the partnership quickly and with minimal pain.”

Whatever the intention is, it needs to be shared, mutually beneficial, and an invitation to others. A one-sided intention like “get you to stop taking advantage of me” is not a promising start.

Hear each other out.

If you’re mad, your partner(s) probably is (are), too. Everyone needs the chance to tell their story and be heard. It’s important to make a commitment at the outset to focus on events and each person’s experience and not make accusations or assumptions.

Other behavioral agreements might be helpful, like committing not to interrupt or yell, and to stay in the conversation, even when it gets difficult.

Identify the top substantive issues.

Amidst undoubtedly high emotions, it’s important to isolate the most significant, substantive issues causing problems. Said differently: What are the key issues that, if resolved, would address at least 80% of the challenges to your partnership? You and your partners need to strategically identify and address the most serious hot spots to mitigate damage to the business, and possibly to your relationship.

Be compassionate.

This means compassion for yourself and your partners. Business partnerships feel hard because they are hard. Even if you’re feeling real anger, disappointment, and distrust toward your partner(s), they are probably suffering, too, not only from the stress of the situation, but also from the underlying causes of whatever poor behavior they (or you, or both of you) might have exhibited. After all, we are all fallible human beings who are entitled to feel the full range of natural emotions.

Our last words are this: If you’re living through a challenging time in a business partnership, we’re sorry. We know from personal experience how hard and painful it can be. No long-term partnership — personal or professional — is without challenges.

We also know first-hand how getting key issues on the table in a timely way and having open, direct, and respectful conversations can reduce frustrations and facilitate needed change. In the best-case scenario, this dialogue and the tools above can build the relationship and your shared confidence in your ability as partners to address conflict constructively and make things better.